


Maybe

by duliner



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hi I spent too long procrastinating on this thanks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 01:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22007863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duliner/pseuds/duliner
Summary: Regrets do a lot to a person. Or people. Life's full of maybes, isn't it?
Relationships: Jayce/Viktor (League of Legends)
Kudos: 21





	Maybe

“Want to go get lunch?” His voice snapped Viktor out of his thoughts. Recoiling slightly, he processed the question. Jayce was standing there, trying his hardest to reach out. How long would he keep doing this till he gave up on Viktor? Did he really want to know? He’d lost him once already.

Standing up, Viktor reached his hand out a bit before hesitating and drawing back again. “Sure, why not.”

He nearly wanted to wince at the pure hope and joy, childish for such a man, that shone in Jayce’s eyes at the words. “Alright! Want to go get ready then and we’ll go?” Bounding towards the stairs, he glanced back, grinning ear to ear, but his eyes seemed a little afraid, and that made Viktor’s heart ache.

_ What have I done to him? _

_ Rain roared outside as Viktor yelled. He wasn’t even sure what all he yelled, he just knew he shouldn’t have. _

_ “Why should anyone stay and help such a pathetic drag as you? You don’t care about anyone but yourself and your success, so I’ll just leave you to it!” As Viktor went to grab his coat, he knocked down Jayce’s. A ring box slid out. Snatching it up, he whirled around to face Jayce, who was kneeling on the floor, tears streaming down as he begged Viktor to stay. He wasn’t even sure what he had said, not like he’d listened. “Oh and you thought this was permanent? Well I hope you know now that you were wrong. We’re nothing. You’re nothing. Remember that. Remember this as a lesson. Hope I don’t see you around.” Slamming the door behind him, Viktor ran blindly in the rain, ending up under a bridge, where he sat fuming till the rain ended, and he slipped back into the depths of Zaun, far from Jayce and the stupid lies. _

Jayce tapped his shoulder gently, and Viktor flinched backwards, wincing at the hurt and brief panic in his eyes. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay… you were muttering a bit and not responding… sorry. I’ll leave you alone.” He darted back upstairs. Strange how so buff a man could look so… vulnerable. Afraid. Alone. And it was Viktor’s fault.

Peeling himself out of the chair, Viktor inspected his outfit. Slightly damp with sweat and rain, dirty, definitely not appropriate to wear out in the city. Jayce was right, he should go change. And probably wash his hair. When was the last time he’d done that? 

Rummaging in his drawer, Viktor pulled out an old comb. Jayce had gotten that for him a few months before he left. Left was an understatement. More like tore apart his self esteem and left him alone to cry for years. 

_ “Best to just let the past go. Jayce is afraid you’re holding on. If you accept it happened and that you have a chance of fixing the fucked up shit you said to him, proving to his heart that it was wrong, you two can fix this mess. But you can’t scare him with the past. Let it go. You’re my friend, but Jayce is too. I don’t want to see you hurt him again. He says he’s better but he hasn’t healed at all. I know you can tell.” Vi patted him on the shoulder a tad aggressively and walked out of the room, leaving Viktor to his thoughts. _

Well. That combing hadn’t fixed anything. Maybe it wasn’t too much worse? Oh well. His hair hadn’t ever laid especially flat, and Jayce hadn’t exactly helped with that either. Straightening his collar, Viktor headed downstairs to find Jayce anxiously bobbing by the door.

“Hey, idiot.” Jayce jerked his head up, eyes unreadable, and smiled softly before hesitating.

Walking up to Viktor, he rested his hand on his shoulder, lightly, barely there, but touching. A hopeful touch.. Maybe to make things right. “Ready?” Viktor nodded awkwardly, not really sure what to say besides just take his hand and go with it. Maybe he didn’t think that through as much as he should’ve… Jayce looked shocked but… strangely happy at the bold form of closeness. He wasn’t fighting with him, so that was a win in Viktor’s book. 

Coughing a little at how long the moment of closeness had lasted, he shook Jayce’s hand off and a pang of guilt shot through him when he saw the hurt look in the man’s eyes. “You’re fine, we should probably just go if we want to get food.”

“Oh yeah food.” Jayce composed himself, straightening up and all forms of hurt disappeared from his demeanor. How many times had he done that while Viktor had been gone? Probably every day. 

_ Vi smacked her glass on the table, standing up and grabbing her cloak. As she began to walk out of the bar, she turned back to face Viktor. “You’re being an asshole, staying somewhat present in his life but being far beyond his reach. You better stop and make a choice. And please don’t turn back on that, because I promise none of Piltover would be happy with you then.” _

Switching back out of his thoughts, Viktor saw Jayce waiting, holding the front door open wide. “Coming anytime soon, my brooding accomplice?” 

Snorting, he bowed dramatically in front of him, “why of course, dear sir.” Jayce laughed a little, making Viktor ache, hearing the music he had taken away, but maybe he could fix that soon. Maybe. But what if Jayce was being polite, and didn’t want anything, and what if he took this too far? He wasn’t sure how hard he could fall away again. Jayce wouldn’t do that… would he? Not the Jayce he knew. But he’d changed. So had Viktor. And they were going to try to figure this out, right? He’d worry about that later, he decided. He wanted to be present, at least a little, and be there for Jayce. This was his second chance and he didn’t want to give that up. But did Jayce?

Poking Viktor, Jayce prompted, “Well? What sounds better?” 

“Huh?” Viktor shook his head slightly, he knew Jayce had been talking but he hadn’t paid much mind, more often than not he just let the man talk without actually listening. He should’ve listened more before, he knew that much.

Sighing, Jayce gestured around. “Do you want to get bread or pasta?” Tapping his finger on his chin, he continued, “must be a difficult decision, eh?”

“You already know the answer to that.” Viktor leaned back a bit, smiling at Jayce. He knew that, right? Or was he just hurting Jayce, making him remember when he was torn apart? His face flashed with something Viktor didn’t quite catch then an easy smile. 

Dragging Viktor towards their old favourite restaurant, he announced, “pasta it is then.”

As they walked into the old building, Viktor found himself hesitating again. Should he stay here? Why should he stay when all he did was leave and cause pain. Why should he be welcomed back? Why did he deserve to be happy and have what he wanted when he’d been the cause of his pain for years. Heck, Viktor didn’t even know if Jayce wanted him. He’s a friendly, sociable guy who doesn’t like holding grudges. He probably hates Viktor. He should hate Viktor, he earned it.

“Everything okay?” Jayce’s hesitation and worry was back in his eyes. Fuck. He thought Viktor would bolt. He’d been thinking about getting out of there too. A wave of shame flooded him for being so close to breaking the fragile whatever they had now with a stupid, rash, cowardly decision. Reaching over but stopping and bringing his hand back, Jayce opened his mouth to speak, but the words died before they were uttered and he shrunk back into his seat.

Realizing he’d never answered, just stared at Jayce, Viktor ran his hand through his hair and forced a short laugh. “Yeah everything’s fine, what about you?” He knew without a doubt Jayce would see through that, he was just hoping he wouldn’t comment on the sudden false and jerky movements.

Sighing, almost sadly, Jayce just shrugged. Choosing his words carefully, speaking slowly, quietly, and in a very defeated tone, he replied, “I don’t even know anymore. I’m just here. I suppose I’m waiting.”

Waiting for what? Viktor wasn’t one to understand hints in conversation, he needed clear facts, needed bits of data he could calculate and analyze. Words were confusing, which was a pathetic issue for one such as him. Or was Jayce just toying with him, and he wasn’t even waiting for something, just longing for life to be different? Viktor was waiting for life to be different. Maybe he should act. Maybe he shouldn’t. Maybe he would. Maybe he can’t yet. No matter what that may be, he just knew he wanted Jayce in his future, if Jayce wanted him in his too. Probably not though. He’d destroyed his happiness in less than an hour and left him to suffer for years. And he just waltzes back in his life like it was nothing. It was quite disgusting of a professional such as Viktor to do, no less to his own best friend, his only friend, his boyfriend. Not anymore did they hold any of those titles. Where were they at all? Were they even friends anymore? Or just coworkers catching up? 

“Mr. Muse, would you like your usual, or would you prefer something new?” Jayce poked his arm gently, angling his head towards the waiter. Eyes widening when he realized he had initiated contact, he drew back swiftly. “Sorry...:”

Every bone in Viktor’s body ached to just hold Jayce and tell him it’s alright, but in reality, it wasn’t. Reality is cruel. Turning to the waiter instead, he asked, “how about the usual with a mug full?”

“Right away, sirs.” Presumably, Jayce had ordered already. Made sense. Viktor wondered how long they’d waited for him. Should probably try to stay at least a bit more present now, for his and Jayce’s sakes.

Flicking his gaze back to Jayce, Viktor began drumming on the table, musing a bit over the concept for his next project. Jayce glanced up and met his piercing gaze, slight confusion but curiosity behind his, before he turned back to fiddling with some spare parts from his pocket. 

  
  
  


After they ate, Viktor stood up a bit sooner and hastier than he should’ve, and the worry in Jayce’s eyes made him feel guilty again. “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude, we just have a project to do also, I was thinking about blueprints.”

“Classic Viktor, making social situations odd because of your rush to work. You need to, well, let things be a bit. You work yourself to the point you can’t take care of yourself too often. Just let yourself live for once.” Sweeping himself out of his chair, Jayce clapped Viktor on the shoulder quickly and went to pay, leaving him stunned at the truth he felt in the man’s rushed words. Was he trying to connect with him? Did he really care after all? Did he have some sort of chance?

Or, had he been wasting all this time when all Jayce had done was wait for him to realize his own life himself? It had often felt like Jayce understood him more than Viktor himself, and that still seemed to apply true now. Maybe he deserved more of a chance than he was giving him. Maybe they both did. But they still had this unspoken barrier that they both hid behind. It wasn’t that they were afraid of each other, really, more so themselves.

Sighing, Viktor reached out, quite literally. Fingers barely touching Jayce's palm, he paused, looking up to see the man close to tears. He started to pull back again but Jayce suddenly grabbed his hand. 

"Please?" His eyes bore age old need, desperation, and vulnerability. Caused by Viktor, but maybe he could help fix that. Maybe he should let himself open up again.

Returning the tightness of the grip, Viktor lifted the corners of his mouth just a touch, "of course."

They walked home in a tentative silence, pondering the comfort of the moment, working on themselves a little. Viktor was once again most likely overthinking and worrying too much. Was this a one time thing? But Jayce was too vulnerable for that. Would it be alright? It would be hard, and there'd be a lot of talking, but maybe? He didn't want to break the silence, either, afraid of him drawing away again, too out of reach, untouchable again. 

When they stepped into the living room, having finally broken away as they entered the home, Jayce let the tears flow. Hugging himself slightly, he was just pouring tears. Taken aback, Viktor did the only thing he remembered helping Jayce. Enveloping the shorter man in his arms, he pulled him close, murmuring quietly before speaking again.

"What's up?" Brushing Jayce's hair behind his ear, Viktor wasn't at all inclined to let go right away.

Sniffling softly, face buried in Viktor's jacket, Jayce took a shaky but long inhale. Smelling him? "Nothing's wrong at all… I just missed you."

Drawing him closer, voice soft and calm, Viktor tightened a bit. "I missed you too, and I'm sorry. I'll say that a lot. I'm sorry. For everything."

"Don't be, it was my fault too."

"Want to try again?" Viktor lifted up Jayce's chin, looking down at him softly, opening up every door he had slammed shut when he left that day. Maybe they could be okay. Maybe they had a chance.

"Please?"

And maybe they would be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes thank you nelly for helping me 1. proof this 2. make me go finish it and 3. figure out the name (jUst kidding djsbfsjbd)
> 
> anyway uhhhh i could've made this longer but this was better anyway uhh yeah have a nice day


End file.
